Is Jeff Daniels really coming to the show as
you alluded to on the Inside Story page?
We can neither confirm nor deny that our
little attempt at a joke about the prospects of Mr. Daniels attending a
performance of our production has resulted in him contacting us to
accept our offer of a reserved seat. We also cannot confirm nor
deny that we have FedEx'ed to his assistant detailed directions of the
optimum route from his Purple Rose Theatre in Chelsea to the Kohler
Auditorium in St. Francis High School. We can only disclose at
this time that we have an actor whose palms are sweaty with anticipation
of shaking Mr. Daniels hands when he arrives.
Are there any other celebrities who may be
coming to see Escanaba in da Moonlight?
Once again, we can neither confirm nor deny
that we have confirmed reservations for Catherine Zeta Jones, Drew
Carey, Charlie Sheen, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dustin Hoffman, Johnny Depp,
Alice Cooper, Christina Aguilera, Samuel L. Jackson, Dr. Phil, Brook
Shields and the Vienna Boys Choir (da boys are
heavy Yooper aficionados.) We can, however, disclose at this time
that Cher will not be on hand to sing the theme song opening night.
I hear that there's a lot of flatulence in the
show. How do you do this live on stage each night?
First off, let me say that we work without a
safety net or use of stunt doubles. We are trained professionals. For legal
reasons, we have to warn our younger audience members not to try this at
home.
What if all the tickets for
Escanaba in da Moonlight
sell out like the last time? What will I do?
We can understand your concern. To this
day, we still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat,
feeling guilty about all the people who wanted to see the previous
production back in 2002. If this production should become a sell
out, the only hope we can offer to those who will be turned away at the
door is to hope that we find ourselves doing the show gain in another 6
years. To that end, we'd like to announce that a 2014 production
of Escanaba in da Moonlight
may have our current director, Gary
Bolton, playing Ranger Tom and our
previous director, George Beeby,
playing Wolf Moon Dance. We are hoping such a production would be
directed by Joe Berry's sister.
What if I don't want to wait another 6 years in the hopes you will do the show again?
We hate to act like we have all the answers
here, but we really think that the solution is obvious. You can
avoid the risk of missing this show be getting your tickets now.
Just call (231) 632-3029 or
order tickets on-line.
You guys must have a lot of groupies. Is this a problem?
"Groupies" is such a harsh word to use in
describing our more avid fans. We prefer the term "Stalkers."
And while it was fun having all those ladies throwing their underwear at
us on the stage, they became too much for da Jimmer to stuff in the
trunk of his '84 Impala. The ones who hang out by the stage door
after the show are not that bad, but the others that wait for us in the
two-holer are crossing the line. That kind of behavior is more
suited for a public rest stop along I-75
Okay, fine. But along the same lines,
who in Escanaba in da Moonlight
gets the most "action"?
That would be Alvin Soady, without a doubt.
He's not the brightest ember in the pot-bellied stove, but the ladies
really go for a man with a low-sloping brow and drooling as constant as
the Tahquamenon Falls.
Who is the best dancer in
Escanaba in da Moonlight?
That would be Bub McGinnis. He's so
slick when he's dancing the Ishpeming High Step that it's like watching
a barn cat walking on Jello. We expect to see him on that Dancing
With The Stars show someday.
Boxers or briefs?
We have no preference as long as they're either camo or hunter orange. Otherwise, we go commando.
At what temperature do you bake a possum
casserole?
450 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Add 5
minutes if the possum was fresh and not something you found along the
side of the highway.
Is it true that you place dirt from Escanaba
on the stage floor each night before the show?
Yes. It adds that extra bit of
authenticity to our performance, and makes for great kitty litter.
What's up with the pin-up girl graphic
at the top of this page?
The guy we got to do this web site is a
bit of a perv.
